you backstabbing boy bitch!

- 23 August 2003 - 12:36 am-

yeah yeah, here's yer fuckin' update already.

bla; where do i start?

my friend Vicki rescued me on Monday after things got very dangerous between my father. i came back home on Weds. took the cat too b/c i didn't know how long i'd be gone. she enjoyed that.

my father is making lame ass attempts to calm the waters, but i really don't give hardly a care; i just want to stay away and get the hell out.

job wise: might work at an airline; promising opportunity came up and i am terrifically excited about it. no, it is not flight attendant-ing.

my friend Charlie sent me a gift card for $100 to a local grocery store chain; now i have food again! the constant, sanity-testing hunger pangs are gone. i love my friends, the true ones like him always help me out when i need them. :)

mom also accompanied me to the bank to close this childhood account of mine. as it turned out, *i* am the custodian to the account, while my mother is the minor. the bank dude thought it to be a mistake from the predecessing banks.

anyhow, also saw Pirates of the Carribean finally. good flick; quite fun. Johnny Depp nailed that role so well. and Orlando Bloom just has to be so hot in films lately.

she blinded me with science!

- 12 August 2003 - 8:25 pm-

my karma ran over your dogma.

- 02 August 2003 - 8:18 pm-

Eamon came to visit me again! :E)

Fri night we went to dinner at Alladin's and i gorged on delicious hummos & pita and a turkey rolled pita. yummy. :)

then we headed to a new jazz club in town that i have been wanting to visit for a while. the club is gorgeous and the band wa s awesome, especially the drummer. :E)

today, we went flying in the morning. woohoo! i was in the right seat this time (you took my seat! :p) but all was well; i got to fly quite a bit! we followed the shore of the lake heading west for a bit. it was decided to turn around sooner than we hoped b/c clouds were quite low and the turbulence was getting very bumpy... there was even one good drop we had too. exciting!

on the way back Eamon helped me with turns as well. he got us in a very steep turns which put roughly 2 g's on us! sweet! THEN- we buzzed the lake! we were between 10-20 feet above the water going ~140mph. now THAT'S my kind of fyling; with a bit of danger. i was think of the boats we passed too... they were probably wondering what the hell we were doing! hey, we weren't in Class Bravo airspace yet, so it was legal. :>

as we landed back downtown, there was another Cessna on short hold for takeoff for 24R. as we taxiied back he got his clearance for a westerly departue and was asked by the tower just before hand to make a midflield turn to the north. this was asked due skydiving activity at a pier very near to the airport. well... a jumper was coming in low and the pilot hadn't turned midfiled. while closing in on the jumper, the pilot asks if he should turn yet. and the clincher: he asks the tower if he should turn yet!!

well, the controller gave a smart ass response: yeah, the jumper is nearly on top of you...!" or something similar. we sure got a laugh out of that! :D the dumbass.

a 100th anniversary adventure

- 23 July 2003 - 3:04 pm-

back home from Dayton!

the trip was good; very happy to have been a part of one of the most significant aviation events of the year. :)

i got sunburned very severely... medics & EMT's thought i might have needed to go to the hospital. but i eneded up not needing to, so long as i took good care of myself at home. i thus missed 2 days of the show. :(

also, i got to tour a F-117 Nighthawk upclose. unfuckingbelievable! the group of Autogrpah tent volunteers i was with were instructed to put away our cameras while inside the hangar. :( i totally understood. a pilot walked us around the aircraft, explaining various features & funcitions. we were allowed to get our faces close but could not touch. :( again, i understood why. one person in our group was asking lots of good questions and the pilot at times had to say he couldn't answer. oooh. :> the pilot even told my friend and i that we're smart! :> hee hee... i got told i'm smart by a hot pilot...

i also got osme official dual time in a Cherokee via my CFI friend Roger. :E) i had alot to do; more responsibilty than i ever been given in an aircraft. 'twas fun!

while i was away, my music arrived from Amazon; been listening to the albums frequently. :> i really like them both. Coldplay did it again; made a masterful album. Ronan's album is a bit stepped up from Solas; more vocals... some new sounds, but i approve! i like! very much!

to get the scoop on my time in Dayton go here: www.geocities.com/esaeronaut

you just fart sunshine, don't you?

- 13 July 2003 - 2:31 am-

i must express how awesome my friend Charlie is. he bought me a gift certiifcate for Amazon!!! :E) i bought two CD's i have been after for a while but much too broke to buy before... ColdPlay's 'Rush of Blood to the Head' and 'Anthem' by Ronan Hardiman.

that just made my month!!! thank you Charlie!!

here is a synopsis of the developing surprise:

charlie: Check your email again...

me: 'k.

me: the show being Iraq?

charlie: I think the stupid thing should have gone through....

me: oh it came!

charlie:

Iraq/Afghanistan/Liberia.....wherever the call, ya know?

me: OMG!!!!!!

charlie: Sweet! *grinning*

charlie: A little explanation is probably in order...

me: CHARLIE!!!!!!!!!

charlie: *laughing*

me:

me: >:D< !!!

charlie: Ok....

charlie: So you're thinking, like....

me: omg that is SO sweet of you!!!!!!

charlie: What the hell is 33 bucks good for.....

charlie: But...

me: oh you are so awesome!!

charlie: I did the math...

charlie: And if you add the price of those two items (Hardiman and Coldplay) plus shipping...

me: omg!!!!

charlie: I think you'll be good to go....

me: \:D/ happy dance!

charlie: Anybody who has to go through that kind of crap with their dad should at least have some good tunes....

me: oh wow that is so sweet of you!!!

charlie: Hope that doesn't weird ya out or anything.....

charlie: *smile*

charliw: no!! not at all!!!!!

me: holy shit! :D

charlie: *phew*

well.. i am off to the Dayton airshow soon. still haven't found a cat sitter; going to see if i can bring her with me... i am hoping my friends' brother wouldn't mind a cat around a few days.

at least i stay in for free in Dayton andg et free admission due to volunteer obligations. i'm am most grateful for that... especially since i'm broke. :(

podex perfectus es!

- 10 July 2003 - 9:26 pm-

i need to share with all of you why my father is an asshole:

my father is a paranoid prude; an inconsiderate bastard. he keeps the the windows closed on these warm days so the fans stuck in a living room window will pull out hot air. and then do what? magically leave behind cool air? how is this logical?? also, he has this prudish paranoid fixation with keeping windows closed for another reason: he is afraid of black people! {gasp} the hell i say! yes, my father is a racist. i have listened more times than i can bear my father make racist comments in front of my sister. sadly, those remarks have already affected my her. way to go, 'dad'. good parenting there. anyhow... he thinks that black people are going to cut open the screens or whatever and rob us blind. so instead of opening them partway to diffuse easy access to an intruder, he just shuts them entirely!! ??? again, this is his fine logic at work.

secondly, my father treats me like i am 12 years old. he address me immaturely, assumes i ahev immature logic, never gives me the benefit of the doubt, explians things to me as though i am being enlightened for the first time, etc. i will not bloody deal with that. my aptience for this treatment is very thin. i'm taking it personally, really; it insults me that he thinks i am naive and dumb. but then realize, he has never known me well... but no, even then, he still needs to treat me maturely. stupid asshole.

also, he has a slim temper, and when we get in an argument, he starts to advance towards me with that look of death and silent fury just as he did when i was kid who couldn't defend themself. well, i am not a defensless child

and i am a very defensive person when it comes to my personal space and the like, so he knows hat he is to never touch me or i will fight back. i don't give a damn if he's my father, he will not beat upon me out of anger like he did to me when he was a child. i will kick his ass. i can do that. he has already grabbed at me and i've thus made my stand against him. he will not do that ever again.

yet also, he has no issues about living in a filty house. i am always cleaning the kitchen, vcacuuming, washing dishes, cleaning this and that because he is too fucking lazy to do it himself. i am NOT his fucking maid! i don't care about his lame "i work hard every day at my job..." excuse. whoop-de-shit. so do alot of other people. simply, he's just lazy; it's like a disease. it's his house, it's his responsibility to maintain it. i will chip in respectively because i am neat freak, but i draw a line. i will not be his maid. {shrug} to hell with that.

in a nutshell, my father is perpetually lazy, umotivated, full of half-assed excuses, ill-tempered, selfish, unhealthy and... just about any other negative adjective will suffice.

i hate him like i cannot describe. the loathing in my soul for him is spectacular. i have never felt like he loves me... never felt that warm fuzzy feeling when you know a parent loves thier child. he never has, i know it because i don't feel it. so bah, to hell with him, i have disowned him in my heart. there is one person out there that has been a real father to me; his interaction in my life was a Godsend. i feel no doubt about that. i don't need my bilological father. he has never cared nor will he truly ever. his heart is too crowded with his own self-pity.

"i want to touch your Valid Target Area!"

- Jul. 03, 2003 - 11:45 p.m.-

bla. very little has been going on with me.

i have been sketching & drawing quite a bit as well as building my website. that whole task there has been making me lazy... i need to catch up on life eventually.

http://www.geocities.com/esaeronaut

my father is pissing me off grandly as i have mentioned before; what a tremendous pain in the ass to live with. i want out of here... now now now.

a walk in the woods...

- Jun. 23, 2003 - 1:28 p.m.-

so i decided to go trail hiking yesteday. i didn't want to sit around and do nothing... well, i could've watched Wimbledon... nah, the trail hiking was better. ;)

i hiked a few miles to a reservation near my home city and hung out there for 2-3 hours and sketched.

along my way, i met a cute & fuzzy caterpillar. i scopped him onto the brim of my sun hat and then gently deposited him amongst the foliage. i certainly didn't want to see the little thing killed by trail users. :) after a bit longer, i stopped and watched over 2 dozen geese scuttle about the river. overall, i enjoyed being outside amongst nature, the scent of flowers wafting everywhere i went and the warm air. :)

i did stupidly leave my camera at home; my photographic eye was working very keenly.

it was a nice solitary affair and i am hardly sore. :E)

"you're correct sailor. it's beer o'clock."

- Jun. 14, 2003 - 11:29 p.m.-

so my mother stopped by here today to retrieve my sister and asked to speak to me.

i became instantly gruff and expected an akward conversation.

but i warmed up to her quickly because she was genuinely concernend about me. it turned out to be a very nice conversation; so much better that i had expected.

she even asked me to join her, her boyfriend and possibly my sister at an amusement park venture tomorrow.

i can certainly say that my heart feels better. also, there is a possibilty in the future that i will get to live back in the house... and have it all to myself. :E)

why can't the justifiable homicide card apply in reality?

- Jun. 12, 2003 - 10:49 p.m.-

my father is a fucking slimy bastard.

such a whopping son of a bitch.

a loser of epic proportions.

an inconsiderate bastard...

he can take his peaceful moment we had the other day and SHOVE IT!! fuck you dad! you can shove father's day too!

i can't belive how decieving and conniving he really is.

such shame and disgust i feel with him as my father.

scabs are not food

- Jun. 12, 2003 - 12:42 AM-

so my SBA/SCORE mtg. downtown went alright. i have a few things to work on before this idea becomes a reality.

i did walk away feeling slightly discouraged by what lies ahead... so i bought some clothes on my way home. :)

i have to metion how i embarrased myself recently while chatting with a friend from Montreal. so, i recieved a compliment and being that he is French-Canadian, i was going to say "thank you very much".

... i thought i remembered my French and typed 'merci boku' instead of 'merci beaucoup'. so basically i told my friend 'thank you cute butt'.

:S

rowsdower!

- Jun. 03, 2003 - 12:36 a.m.-

bah.

i was up much later than i expected to be yesterday night... i accidentaly deleted a bunch of stuff off of my Yahoo profile. had to stay up and rebuild a bit. plus, i am feeling a nasty toothache at random.

working on taxes & college is going to have to wait a tad longer. i have a different mission to complete 1st.

plus, i completed a sketch the other day; took me 2hrs to do and it came out really well. i'm very happy about it.

i have so much crap to do this week too.

isn't all of that so interesting, folks?

...i was pimping for applause.

- May. 29, 2003 - 3:02 p.m.-

i just have to express how much of a fan of Conan O'Brien i am. Conan rocks.

spoke with someone from the Small Business Association today. i have a really promising, great business venture idea. i'm very excited.

on Firday, my friend/fomer math teahcer is going to take my overdue tax stuff and help me get it filed. while i'm at my old high school, i'm going to get some college application stuff.

{searching for words}

- May. 24, 2003 - 4:40 p.m.-

i am angier than words can describe right now.

one of my fathers dogs chewed apart one of my glasses. all that has been recovered is a single lens.

ya know, it's ONE MORE THING I DO NOT NEED IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!!!

i hate my life, my father, this house, this neighborhood... i have no job, no job skills, no money, no car, can't afford school.

this anger and frustration has come to a climax. i am struggling to hang on! i am going MAD. i am... oh whatever.

the continuing anguish of an ambitous woman...

- May. 22, 2003 - 7:25 p.m.-

ungh... i feel like shit. i have been fighting a waxing & waning headache since i woke up this morning; seems to be developing into a migraine.

i feel so overwhelmed with all of the the things i have to do.

i have such lofty and ambitious goals for myself. i thus have alot to do to prepare for them. and if i didn't make earlier mistakes, my situation wouldn't be as difficult now.

why can't i have simple goals? why do i aspire to such ambitous heights? why not me? why do i have to feel as if i do not live out all of the goals i have my life will have been a waste? why do i have to desire a complicated future so strongly? i envy those people out there that pursue a simple life.

perhaps it is because i am so passionate about life. lifetime is a gift... there are so many opportunities out in the rest of the world... i want to experience it all. i can't help it; i'm too ambitious. i love life, but sometimes i want to escape it. i just get too overwhelmed i figure...

now back to our heroes in the bush...

- May. 22, 2003 - 1:31 p.m.-

so.

i have to comment on some of the really great music i have been hearng on the radio (and there's not often much of that) :

* 'Unwell' by Matchbox 20

* 'When I'm Gone' by 3 Doors Down

* 'Clocks' by Coldplay

* 'Sympathy' by Goo Goo Dolls

* 'Calling All Angels' by Train

* 'Remedy' by Jason Mraz

i saw Jason Mraz perform on Leno recently, and his performance was awful! he simply didn't even try to sing well. but the studio version is good. {shrug}

'Clocks'..... all i can say is wow. just another reason why they are one of *thee* best bands of our time.

'Unwell' is a really great light-rock song. i love the banjo in the song too; a very pleasent touch.

into the great wide open...

- May. 19, 2003 - 12:25 a.m.-

boy did i get a pleasent surprise this weekend!

Eamon from NY came to visit me! we had a fun day on Saturday! he flew in to BKL via his Cessna 182.

we meandered around downtown for a bit and then headed to a great fun cajun restaurant.

after that, we cabbed back to BKL for some flying!!

let me tell you how great, wonderful, satisfying, it was to be up flying again. we flew to a small airfield in Strongsville for fuel and then from there it was time to tool around!

we flew all the way out to Cedar Point amusement park and i held the 182 in a tight circle around the park. we were roughly 2000ft above. that was so damn cool!

my upper arms and shoulder area are slightly sore because at times i was fighting against strong winds. there was a clockwise rotating low pressure(i think?) zone far South and we were being affected by the outer edges of it; making for those uneven winds.

i flew almost the entire time between taking off from Strongsville and landing back at BKL a bit later. i felt so natural to fly. i just eased the airplane around the sky like i had always done so...then again, that's subject to Eamon's opinion! ;)

i feel like a wimp though for being sore after fighting winds. i am obviosuly very inexperienced at flying in strong winds, but i did pretty well i guess. just not conditioned yet i s'pose for 'em. {shrug}

i was really excited too over actually getting to use the altimiter and directional heading in a real flight, as opposed to sims i've used. Eamon asked me to maintain 1,900 (i think that was it) at N. i had a little trouble with that, again due to inexperience. but i eased the airplane N and stopped it dead on N! :D keeping it there was a little more of a challenge. i wobbled about a tad, but kept us generally North. as we neared back to Strongsville for a refuel, Eamon took over again, as well as for the flight back to BKL. plus, on the way home, we almost hit a bird! it flew to the bottom left of the plane... very close shave. :/

after we landed again, we wandered up to the Rock Hall only to discover they were closing in 1/2 an hour. :(

we stayed in there until closing, and gawked around. then we headed 'round over to Voinovich park behind and gawked about some more. :)

after that, Eamon decided to head home due to WX concerns. :( i really had alot of fun with him; he's fun to hang around with!

so that was my day! :)

!!!!

- May. 12, 2003 - 10:03 p.m.-

ungh...

i did alot of walking today. so much walking. had several errands to run. my right thigh was in so much pain and my feet almost caught on fire. why did i do miles and miles of walking? becuase the buses where i moved to don't run frequently... {eyes narrowing}

so i got my State ID renewed but the lady there put the wrong address on my new card! the one i walked on hour & a half in the wind and rain to get! son of a BITCH!

my head hurts, my body hurts, my soul hurts.

i hate life right now.

of recent, i am slipping back into a deep spell of misery again. this is not good but i do not care.

why won't he love me?

- May. 10, 2003 - 7:08 p.m.-

more news, superpilots:

...for a rose will grow on Greenland's ice

- May. 09, 2003 - 6:19 p.m.-

{sigh} ran some errands today. :)

got a new lens for my sunglasses finally.

bought a lighthouse book for my mom for mum's day.

also trekked out to renew my state ID, but was turned away. i didn't have my SS card, which you need to renew a state ID, apparently, when it expired more than 6 months ago. i did not have mine with me, so... :/

my miniature sunflowers are growing very well. they're almost 2 inches high and the leaves are spreading out fast. unfortunately, i noticed a tiny bite mark in one of the tiny leaves... my cat ate some of my plant! argh!

{grumble} so it goes, with my gardening attempts...

{whimper}

- May. 06, 2003 - 8:13 p.m.-

bla.

i have so much to do... holee crap. {blink} get a new job. learn to drive. i need some new clothes. afford a car. pay my bills. finish my writings. get the college application process started. take college entrance exams. finish my reume. fix my financial mess. {sigh}.... and so much more...{SIGH}

i have a Dayton trip coming up this weekend and i may not even go because of how damn difficult it has been to plan it. if i could drive, how much easier this would be...

i recently came up with a website idea and i am in the process of finding a professional host. i'm very excited.

been thinking about getting a kite; looked at some online today.

since my departure from the museum, i have not been doing much, really. i have been, though, reorganizing my bedroom and it's looking very neat and organized. :)

warning: keyboard not connected. press f10 to continue.

- May. 03, 2003 - 2:41 p.m.-

the end of an era. five years of passionate volunteering and employement at the museum has ended on Friday.

my last day was a good one, i guess. i got a card FILLED and i mean FILLED with signatures and good wishes. when i opened it, i blurted "holy shit!" and cupped my hand to my mouth. i was so very surprised. i did not expect so many people to care that i was leaving. i really didn't. so it was a pleasent surprise.

saying goodbye was also diffiuclt and akward. it'll sink in indefinately that i'm not going back there. for now, i feel as if i have a bunch of days off...then, after a bit of time, i'll be dumbfounded. {shrug}

saying goodbye to Brooks was especially difficult. he's one of my most precious friends. i love him to bits. after my last shift, i dumped my labcoat and went in search of him. i arrived at the Exhibits office and didn't find him there. someone who was there called him up to the office. i went back in the hall and out to the doors and waited by the service door. i paced about a few minutes terrified to say goodbye. i saw him coming up the escalators and when he got to the top i was waving an open/close hand kid type wave and looking meepish. when i saw his expression change, i lost it. he was about 8/10 ft away and i walked right up, crying, and he gave me a big pick-me-off-the-floor-bear-hug. we hugged some more and said some good words. i'm gonna miss seeing him so much!! SO much! {sniffle}

i went back upstairs to my dept's office very teary eyed with my head down so no one would see me that way. i couldn't even go into the office i was sobbing so much. i stayed in the hall for a few minutes and cried it all out. i managed to stop breifly, but when i touched the door handle, i lost my composure again and just walked past everybody, crying, and hid in the back of the office. i got more hugs and a wonderful departure gift! ;)

my departure and relationship with the museum is bittersweet. i feel very sad about leaving but relieved to be free at the same time. i still desire to work in the industry, but it will be a while before i jump back in.

i forgot what i was going to type here...

- Apr. 29, 2003 - 11:01 p.m.-

so!

finally had some precious days off. {smilesigh}

and i'll have many more after my last day at the museum on Friday. :) but hey, i plan to get a better, more well paying job as soon as possible.

did alot of grocery shopping. plus i bought a miniature sunflower kit. it came with a terra cotta pot, a packet of seeds, and a small pouch of soil. it's terribly cute. the flower heads will be roughly 4" in diameter. i'm so very excited. i also bought a ion hairdryer and a new lunch cooler container pouch thing.

peolple have been saying goodbye to me at the museum, but only a few have. i suspect more random goodbyes to come on my last 2 days. i'm just gently surprised people are saying goodbye at all.

and Julie & Bob gave me many hangars and socks! i have more that 5 pairs of socks now! woo! and more hangars!

plus, i've got a slew of errands begging to be finished, which is making me feel depressed and overwhelmed...

it's just a ball of dust underneath my feet.

- Apr. 25, 2003 - 7:11 p.m.-

i read a little about the Strong Anthropic Principle earlier. i LOVE this theory.

it refelcts the way i think and what i believe about creation/the universe.

i don't care if i am seen as heretic of traditional science.

i have been enjoying my 2 days off very much...after working 10 days in a row. :(

i'm feeling better, i just have so much snot in my throat. volcanic coughing fits i suspect will be the next stage of my cold.

as you can see, my life is so boring right now that i can't find anything better to talk about than the snot in my throat.

clowns in the sky...

- Apr. 23, 2003 - 6:21 p.m.-

still sick. bla.

i'm having lots of mucus issues, body aches, and fatigue. at least my super let me out of work an hour early. :)

yesterday, i saw a guy at Tower City that looked *just* like Saddam Hussein. seriously, dead ringer, man. creepy.

almost done my tenure at the GLSC. YAY! can'twaitcan'twaitcan'twait!

plus, in my cryogenics demo today, the match in the test tube of LO2 was launched spectacularly out of the thing! the audience LOVED it! it made a "phoom" sound and shot out in front of me to the right, going up high, then whisked away somewhere behind me. what is odd about this is when i put the unburning match in the test tube, it only sputtered and coughed light sporadically. no one(including me) expected it to launch, so that really surprised us. normally this is not what we aim for in this experiment, but it is uber keen when it happens...!

buran!

- Apr. 21, 2003 - 11:00 p.m.-

ungh....

cold microbes have infected me. bla.

one my nostrils in hopelessy clogged. i ahev tried to expel snot from it at great speed, but i have had no luck. i am damn near going to drive a railroad spike through that nostril if have to. having *one* nostril clogged is an odd feeling. enough about my cold. who the hell cares about my cold?

i got a chance to practice some Scottish Gaelic at work yerterday. i said 'welcome' to a Scottish family. they were very suprised i knew some of their language. they corrected one mispornounciation, but were other wise surprised i knew any. not many people speak Gaelic dialects so much anymore, ya know.

and today was demo-marathon for me. Erica had to go home early; feeling unwell. i took a demo of hers and scored some exrta hours as well. :) i was very tired after my day because i was perfroming very high activity demos. but it was fun, actually. haven't been having much fun at work lately...or for a long time really. so:

i had had 2 previous shows in the day, and this nice older couple came to all 3 of them. they were very fond of me and always were compelmenting! just such nice and happy people!

i'm hoping for a positive comment card! :E)

ready 23 & 1/2 hours a day.

- Apr. 17, 2003 - 12:59 p.m.-

bla.

had a nasty awful painful migraine yesterday. i almost cried at work from the pain. i'm sick a these damn things.

two days ago, Brooks and i hung out at Tower City a while, while waiting for his bus to come. that was fun. :)

almost free of this museum. roughly 2 weeks to go. i am lookinbg forward very much to my last day because Brooks and i going out for lunch. :E)

if you can't tell, he's one of my bestes friends.

back to the lamenting:

i am not capable of remaining a part of this department; it's going straight to hell and i want no part of it. i can sit back from a distance, laughing my ass off at everybody* there who's happily(God knows why) working each day, blind to the fact that they can do better with their skills.

*= with the exception of a few people for whom i actually care about there.

i got sunshine on my mind...

- Apr. 11, 2003 - 5:26 p.m.-

so!

the city cut down all but ONE lone tree over top of the Williard Park Garage. bleeding idiots.

atop the garage, was grass, trees, and pathces of parking spaces. it was a nice blend; seems they're going to pave all of it into a lot.

but now all the trees are gone. it looks horrible.

i hope the people in city hall next door enjoy thier view of a parking lot.

:>

been thinking alot of joining a local rowing association... ahh, rowing.

plus i ran into my friend Rob today!! yay! he and i and our circle of friends need to get together again soon.

'round the ragged rocks the ragged rascal ran.

- Apr. 09, 2003 - 3:08 p.m.-

bluegrasscountry.org

i discovered them on thr web a few days ago and i am devout listener!

I have loved that sweet, sweet bluegrass music for several years now.

to whom it may concern

- Apr. 08, 2003 - 9:02 p.m.-

y'know, writers block sucks. i am now finishing a music review that has been 2+ years in the making. i've been using every brain cell to come up with the words. it's almost done...i can see the finish line. :)

bla.

plus, i'm saving up for a cyclocross bike; i need to scratch the itch to ride in my legs :)

i must also express my utter sadness and shock over the death of David Bloom. i can't easily believe it, still. i sensed such a wonderfully kind, wholesome person. and he was ane excellent journalist. i don't want to die of what killed him: pulmonary embolism(blood clot to the pulmonary artery).

he probably developed 'deep vein thrombosis' that eventually caught up with him. all it takes to get DVT is inactivity. your weight, health, etc has not as much to do with the odds, stagnant/slow moving blood thickens and clots.

i need my bike now. in the meantime, i'm doing lots of extra walking.

i'm thinking i should phone a doctor over these twitches in my thighs that i have felt for several years. i feel them countless times each day and night. i'm getting worried... i'm hoping it's not due to blood clots, although i wouldn't be much surpirsed if it were the cause. this why i need my bike, i repeat.

a coworker is pissing me off, but i'm not gonna be there much longer, so he can go boil his head. {shrug}

a meloncholy, moon-eyed manchild...

- Apr. 05, 2003 - 9:55 a.m.-

JOY! the nutjob supervisor at the museum quit recently. {sigh} life is better there.

i am the next to go; i resigned already. my last day is May 2nd- my 5th year anniversary. i thought it to be an appropriate date. {shrug}

in other news, i have a big project i am now spearheading. it involves a bit of website designing, so this'll be interesting...being that i have practically zero website design experince; outside of this page.

i finally got back to my portaits again...i am thinking about starting a business opportunity for myself...perhaps i can charge peolpe to sketch thier portrait. hmm...

still working on some freelance writing too...

skychicken!

- Apr. 01, 2003 - 5:25 p.m.-

they closed down Meigs Field! i can't believe it!

this is what i've learned has happened: the mayor of Chicago or the Governor(don't remember which) had large X's bulldozed over the runways and had deep grooves bulldozed every 500ft.

this is terrible news. i feel bad for the pilots with their aircraft stuck there.

Meigs was an FAA designated releiver, so O'Hare is gonna get a little extra unwanted business. but oh well, the stupid mayor or governor had to do this.

i have learned also that the plans for the lakefront airport are to turn it into a park or something similar. the mayor i believe closed simply because he could. he took no consideration to the pilots and thier aircraft. he also failed to visualize the impact of the extra traffic at O'HAre. dumbass.

this literally happened over night...at midnight a few nights ago. how sudden and unfortunate. when closing Meigs was seriously considered, so many people rallied for it's future and won; this was very recent.

this makes me even more concerned for Burke Lakefront. BKL's future isbeing similarly threatened and few people helping realizing this or even taking action. it's just like Meigs, and even has the same role as a designated releiver for CLE.

well, i have an angry letter i need to write soon...

'The Presidential Speedboat'

- Mar. 31, 2003 - 2:38 p.m.-

so i happened upon something odd today while waiting for my bus this morning.

i saw a steak knife in the road while waiting at my stop.

hmm...i come across a untensil in the road...but it's not a fork. coming across a untensil in the road is alwaysd odd, but if it were a fork, i'd be presented with a simple logical choice when coming to a fork in the road.

but i came across a knife...so what should i have done? there is no predisposed inner logic regarding what to do when coming to a *knife* in the road...

i was most confused...

:P

42.

- Mar. 29, 2003 - 9:33 a.m.-

ah, correction: 'The ultimate Hitchiker's Guide' is what i have.

{smile} it rained last night. powerful tstorms were predicted, but i never noticed any thunder or lightning. at least we got lots of wind and rain though.

i'm really making progress on some essyas; my portfolio is coming along.

uh, that's all i can think of right now.

as i mentioned before, my life is NOT interseting right now. so sue me. {shrug}

slainte!

- Mar. 25, 2003 - 5:41 p.m.-

{grumble} Starbucks is still not calling me. they are supposed to whether or not i'll get hired.

at any rate, i need to get working on my writings; i discovered some freelance writing opportunities.

work is sucking me further into a black void of bitterness. but hey, i'm quittin' soon(no seriously, i even picked a date), so this chaotic hell will end soon.

i am *slowly* adjusting to life at my Dad's.

did i mention how much i hate life here??

on a brighter note, i finally bought a Douglas Adams book! 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe'. i'm enjoying this book immensly. i finally remembered to buy it.

{sigh}

bigfoot's such an asshole!

- Mar. 22, 2003 - 11:49 p.m.-

so now i'm living with my Dad. this has been an unpleasant first night here.

i'm so unspeakably worried about how i'm going to get out on my own right now. how am i possibly going to afford health insurance, a car, rent, bills, school, maybe *a* hobby, groceries, etc.

i am so scared.

i don't know how i'm going to do this.

i look around at my friends and see them with their cars, apartments, etc. and wish i could be there. sure they're struggling, but i'd rather be there and struggling than trying so uncommonly hard to even get there and be struggling in the first place.

why does this have to be so hard for ME?

i am undescribibly depressed. i have no happiness within me. any happiness you see is only outward. it's not from within.

God i can't even describe how my head, heart and soul are overcome in confusion. it's like a neverending fucking cycle. it just makes want to cry until i cannot any longer.

somebody PLEASE help me!

mmm...glazed foliage...

- Mar. 14, 2003 - 1:04 p.m.-

we had an interseting wx situation yesterday morning.

rain very early with strong wind, then freezing rain & perhaps some graupel, then snow. these transitions happened quickly! i enjoyed watching all of it.

my favorite result of the storm was the glaze ice that formed over trees and bushes. glaze ice is so beautiful to see.

the CHINA exhibition opens tomorrow at the museum. there's a big major super uber fancy gala tonight, and amongst the important guests, China's ambassador to the US is attending.

and hopefully next week i'll hear back from Starbucks. i'm not excited about it. i hate food service/reatil jobs. but i'll get paid well...!{shrug}

there's really nothing exciting going on for me right now, so that's the best news i could come up with.

boring, yes, i know.

vande

- Mar. 10, 2003 - 5:20 p.m.-

i scored an interview tomorrow w/a Starbucks downtown.

this is a good thing.

Wheredafukarwi Touring Club

- Mar. 07, 2003 - 3:01 p.m.-

ok, i need to bitch.

i found out this morning at work that new policy has been initiated.

some stupid fart in administration decided that to help make staff & volunteers more visible, we need to have matching bright teal(very garish) lanyards.

{struggling for words} did i get that right? we're using matching *lanyards* to help make us more distinguishable??

ok!

so....why not have all departments that are regularly/frequently on the floor in matching shirts? only box office staff are required to have our standard teal shirts on. in my dept., we have to wear labcoats over street clothes, and if no labcoat- then we wear the standard teal shirts. most other sciece centers have a standard shirt or jacket that their staff/volunteers wear-regardless of the department.

why the fuck we need *matching lanyards* of all things i don't comprehend.

i need to find the bloody nong who came up with this inane idea and kick them in the ass!

am i the only one who thinks this is stupid??

not a drama. she'll be apples.

- Mar. 03, 2003 - 12:22 p.m.-

i found myslef a new favorite author, Bill Bryson. i'm reading 'In a Sunburned Country'. it's bloody hilarious. it's covers his journeys through Australia.

hostes alienigeni me abduxerant...qui annus est?

- Feb. 27, 2003 - 6:06 p.m.-

so what the hell's been going on...

there was a big water main break in the street next to our driveway recently. lots of noisy equipment running late into the night. my cat had something interesting to look at out the window, at least.

plus, i found out that Brooks is an ametuer sketch artisit as am i. i'm very excited!

in addition, i turned in an application to a Starbucks recently. when i turned it in to the cute 'tender, his response was as such: "oh wow! this is one of the best applications i've seen in a while!" {eyebrow raise} huh! that sounds good! but i'll celebrate when i get an interview or the job directly.{shrug}

what?!

- Feb. 24, 2003 - 9:14 a.m.-

well i'm still here.

it has been a tough two weeks for me. i am not doing very well.

i'm in the process of finding a new place to live.

ugh.

big answers about big phenomena.

- Feb. 15, 2003 - 4:21 p.m.-

holy fuckin' a it's practically arcitc outside.

why does getting to work on a weekend have to be such an adventure(not in a fun sense)??

so i leave to catch a bus to get to another intersection for a downtown bus. well, just as i am nearing the corner, the bus zooms past. joy!

now i have to walk my ass roughly 20 blocks to my downtown bus. JOY!

outside, the air is rougly 15 F. whoop de shit, right? i've lived in Cleveland all my life...i can handle this.

by the time i reach a main road with my intersection 1 block north, my hands are becoming frostbitten...no seriously. that damn vasoconstriction. i was seriously worried...i was losing feeling fast. so i stop in a coffee house before i head north and enjoy my nice hot mocha.

okay, a few minutes north, and i'm there. as i arrive, my newly generated body heat is quickly lost to the cold. {grumble} now, being that i'm a woman, we can get emotional over anything. i was getting very pissy.

so i get to the bus stop, and wait in the shelter for rougly 15 min. in the few min. before my bus arrived, i was almost gonna cry. my hands were in so much pain...with as little pain as i could feel. i was getting frostbitten. this was not good.

i get on the bus, remove my gloves(two insulated leather gloves on each hand), whine, and attempt to warm my hands...which are at that time beet red.

i then swallow coffee the wrong way and cough volcanically. i just wanted to burst into tears. and at last, we arrive downtown. i was dreading the 5-10 min. walk...

my hands instantly regained thier earlier condition, and i even ran a bit to hurry to warmth. 20 min. after in get in, my hands are still somewhat stiff, even after warming them.

i feel like stowing away on a flight to Cancun or wherever. {narrowing my eyes at the wx}

plus, Eric's coming back to Cleveland. i'm so excited! yer goin' down hairball! ;P

in your heart shaped world...

- Feb. 14, 2003 - 9:59 p.m.-

*sigh*

Valentine's day is concluding, at last.

i wish i had a prince charming to spend it with. it's heartbreaking to me to know that friends have thier someone and i do not. when will i find him??

*sigh*

to the night, another Valentine burning for you.

- Feb. 13, 2003 - 12:11 p.m.-

so i'm slipping into a slump of misery, depression, loneliness & despairity.

and to add insult to injury, i'll be spending Valentines day feeling as above.

bla.

about as distant as a satellite...

- Feb. 09, 2003 - 3:44 p.m.-

so my skecth pad & notebook were found...in the copy room by my supervisor. i am most grateful. :)

God only knows i want to go...

- Feb. 07, 2003 - 1:49 p.m.-

shock, sadness, and mourning is what i have been feeling since Columbia disintegrated.

i have alot to say about it, i'm just having trouble finding the words. it'll take me a while to say what i want just as i feel it should sound.

we are a nation of button pushers!

- Jan. 27, 2003 - 10:56 a.m.-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
i had to get that out.

but, hey, we do it in style!

- Jan. 24, 2003 - 3:15 p.m.-

more news, you greedy voyeurs...

we recently updated a gallery in the museum, which inclueds an exhibit about the technology of satellite TV. so, as is customary, we have to showcase satellite TV. so, above the educationsl kiosks is a tower of BIG plasma/digital TV's.

basically, it the "hey, let's watch TV" exhibit.

and there's a bench there too to *encourage* people to sit, watch tv instead of exploring the museum they paid admission to! there's even a *cartoon* channel available! i always see families sitting there watching tv like they'reat home... sheesh!

well, onto other things...

i've been thinking alot about how much music is a part of me. when i was a kid, i don't recall music effecting me as it does now. i guess the passion grew with time and exposure. {shrug}

at any rate, i DO recall enjoying music, and habitually humming (badly) to music on TV in the past. now, as a young 20-something, i realize how much music is a part of me. music resonates through me, and i need it like i need air, etc. when i lsiten to music, i hear every tone, note, sound, melody, etc. i sometimes wonder if anyone else out there listens as i do.

i remember Eric telling me that i am passionatley eclectic about music. i was struck by how true that statement was.

some people are passionate about food, others are intrigued by numbers, but i am enraptued by the artful notes and melodies of sound. that i know now is one of my passions.

So! The Five Most Perfect Songs Ever Made: not in any order...

'Fields of Gold' by Sting

'Lose my Faith' by Sting

'Blue Moon' by The Mavericks

'Wicked Game' by Chris Isaak

'Spies' by Coldplay

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/eclecticmusiccollection/

looking at stars; pissing in jars...

- Jan. 16, 2003 - 11:18 a.m.-

so what do i have to talk about....

my 1st drum lesson has been had. it was fun...i learned paradiddles, strokes(beats), etc. i bought myself a nifty drum pad and new SD4 sticks.

Erica gave me a this nifty gray flanel ivy cap, and...earleir this morning, there was a live broadcast of the STS-107 launch. THAT was cool. I'm very excited about this mission. a majority of the on board experiments are life-science based. i sure wish i was going with them...someday i shall.

the friggin' dude

- Jan. 08, 2003 - 2:04 p.m.-

i missed out on my 1st drumming lesson last night. bummer.

i had a MAJOR migraine. playing the drums with a migraine would *not* have been fun. it got so painful, i was fighting off vomiting. it was awful.

in other news, i'm working on this cosmically complicated jigsaw puzzle. myself, Erica and Erk worked on it last summer for a while, but it nuked our brains and so went our enthusiam for it. Toby finished for us sometime later, but upon taking home the 4 completed sections in the box, it fell apart. i've been making good progress.

except for those flowers. all those damn flowers!- making it SO hard.

well...that's what's it making challenging and fun.

so that's my boring ass news for now.

{shrug}

it's the rheteric of failure.

- Jan. 07, 2003 - 3:25 p.m.-

um, so, yeah...

i cleaned out my mailbox recently and today cleaned 5 years worth of crap out of my locker, at work.

i'm gonna quit, i'm really gonna do it this time! God, it's like some kind of a love/hate relationship with that museum. {sigh}

i need to finish my resignation letter, but i realize my resignation letter is not so much about my resigning, but more a letter of many complaints.

but when i do quit(which will be within the next 2 weeks), there will be so much i don't have to deal with...

....no creepy employees that stare at me, no more kids, no staffing VS/MB/BoF/etc, no more nutjob supers breathing needlessly down my throat, amongst many other things.

God, i can't wait to be free.

this is the show about the ugly guy that didn't like women...

- Jan. 01, 2003 - 1:03 p.m.-

so.

2003 is upon us. yup.

something very humorous happened at work recently...

i'm at VS(virtual sports), and a guest approaches me handing over a radio, saying she found it in a womens bathroom. on the radio is a note: shift supervisor 'something'. i appears to be a security radio, so i call them and make them aware that i have a radio of theirs at VS. a few minutes later, my supervisor comes by, apparently having intercepted my call; she's a apparently a dolt whom thinks it's okay to get involved in situations not under her jurisdiction. anyhow,...

...a few minutes pass, and i hear her call her name to the security guard whom lost the radio, over the open channel. roughly a minute passes, and she repeats the call. then, the clincher...

"radio check."

what?! I'm standing there thinking, "SHE'S NOT ANSWERING YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE HER RADIO, YOU DUMBASS!!"

.........oh my *GOD*!!
*sigh* {shaking head}

me and my drum

- Dec. 30, 2002 - 11:54 a.m.-

can't wait for my first drum lesson tomorrow. i need to learn some Police tunes *soon*; Stuart Copeland is my drum hero.

on a different note, work blows today. my scedule is like that for a volunteer. i might as well turn in my staff tags for today and go fish out my volunteer tags. sheesh.

oh, you wicked wicked little monkey!

- Dec. 29, 2002 - 2:44 p.m.-

so what's been going on...

we had a white Christmas. so much snow. it was great.

my Xmas sucked. my mom got me underwear(too small), socks(too big), and an ugly purse(that i will never use).

i was honestly surprised that she even got me anything; with how severly we have been fighting.

mom also got my 12 yr. old sister similar crap. she's 12.

12! she deserved a better Christmas! I felt so bad... she called my dad rather upset, and he had got her some really cool toys. so it turned out better for her.

my first drum lesson is this coming Tuesday; i'm very excited.

my mom also attempted to assault me yesterday, and nearly broke down my bedroom door to do so. i nearly called the cops. i missed work too. but my boss was most understanding.

i will turn your face to alabaster...

- Dec. 18, 2002 - 11:53 a.m.-

someday.

someday i will be free of living at home. my mother makes life no fun. she has to be the most pathetic human being upon this Earth. when she comes home from work, she immediatley hides in her room, plays solitaire on the computer until late at night, and smokes probably a pack of cigarettes. i cannot deal with the smoke. it clogs the house and then she throws a hissy fit if i open a window for oxygen. well, hey, i need to breath, dumbass. kill kill kill...i could just kill my mother!

in other news, i am working on two drawings. one of Zen Gesner and the other of Tobey Maguire. they've been mosat challenging sketches so far. i am really not good at portraits, but they're coming along better then i expected.

"...in that box that says SUPER SAUCER!"

- Dec. 15, 2002 - 2:21 p.m.-

my drawing has been framed. i'm very happy. i have it on display in our office at work. i'm so proud that i actually pulled off a full-page sketch. usually when i attempt such a sketch, i end up with a margin. but dude- with this one...it just worked out *perfectly*. man...

on Thursday at work, i was forced to work with our Exhibits dept.- helping renovate the InfoTech gallery. i was sentenced to menial tasks. i can't even put into words how exciting it was.

since Christmas is nearly upon us, and if you know me, i'd like an Amercian Express gift check. whatever amount you can spare would be greatly appreciated.

:P

{shrug}

- Dec. 12, 2002 - 11:57 a.m.-

well i'm not homeless.

we'll see how long that lasts.
i feel like i'm stuck in a pit and i cannot climb out; as if someone needs to come and rescue me or i'll die- because i cannot get out on my own.

in other news, i've been enjoying the SciFi channel miniseries 'Taken'. i like how the story goes; it presents a logical scenario, in my opinion. {shrug} it's inspired me to keep pushing along on my own story. i haven't written anything major in a very long time...so i'm enjoying what i'm working on.
i can't think of anything else to type about now...

mercy...

- Dec. 06, 2002 - 5:57 p.m.-

so i fought off tears twice today at work.

my mom has decided that to 'kick' me out, she's going to change the locks. so now i have to call off work the whole weekend and guard my room, cat, and stuff.

i may end up homeless and knocking on friends' doors.

what the holy fuck is happening to my life? what am i going to do??

so what's the point?

- Dec. 05, 2002 - 5:11 p.m.-

so what's been going on...

....uh....

man, this thing has NOT been a big priority for me.

one of our dogs got out again and he remains unfound.

i'm enjoying the heavy snowfalls lately.

i'm getting rather severe migraines. dunno what's going on there.

...i guess that's what's going on...

...isn't my life fascinating? *sigh*

Failte!

- Nov. 25, 2002 - 5:19 p.m.-

oh the hell with it.

i know I have stuff to type about, but I can't remember it.

so why am i telling you this? in case you are dying of anxiety as to what next will appear on my page.

but i don't think there is anyone out there who is that excited about my page...

...so this is probably more pointless than i think.

must......shop......!

- Nov. 20, 2002 - 11:53 a.m.-

So my mom ended up getting me a bday card. she signed it just before she got of the car, apparently and sealed it right in front of me.

huh.

whoop-de shit, again.

God, that's so fucking lame. she doesn't even care, she wasn't even genuine. what can i do....

yesterday night, we had a big sale for staff/volunteers at the gift shop, and Erica bought me a *gorgeous* glass beaded choker!! thank you Erica a million times a google!!! :E)

plus, I bought some Xmas gifts for people & some turtle pendant earring & necklace.

.............

- Nov. 18, 2002 - 1:03 p.m.-

well my birthday sucked.
my mom ended up spending Saturday night with her boyfriend, so she didn't come home until 1pm-ish yesterday. she wasn't barely in the door, and I could hear her bitching. About me.
amongst her ramblings I heard "aren't you working today?!". she didn't even say Happy B-day or present a card. really, I don't care too much about that. the reson is: i don't expect it, and if she did do something I know it wouldn't be genuine. so that's wht that wouldn't be a big deal. but what *would* upset me is if she had purposely made me upset & miserable. which she did to some extent.

so, seriously, go to hell mom. take the fuckin' freight elevator down.

but I did visit friends and they gave me a down feather/gortex ski jacket. and that sucker is warm. now I have a super warm winter coat! Plus, Erica bought me my very own Sukhoi SU-27! My own jet!
couldn't see the Leonids last night, too many clouds. :(

so, a very low-key, semi-boring, semi-depressing birthday.
but my freinds came through, and that made the difference. :)

can you see the pain upon my brow?

- Nov. 16, 2002 - 3:21 p.m.-

So my 'mother' called me a 'twenty two year old brainless idiot'.

that's how much my 'mother' cares about me on my birthday.

whoop-de-shit.

I'll probably spend my birthday alone, bored, unhappy and depressed.

But maybe i'll get to go see the Leonids.

maybe.

propino tibi salutem!

- Nov. 15, 2002 - 5:10 p.m.-

so I worked a fun special event (for KSU) at the museum last night. I was subbling for Erica, she had a conflict with weekly hours.

it was a fun night. I started off with the Cryogenics cart by the gift shop, and was *swarmed* by *huge* group of people. A special events coordinator even got photos of it. :)

all the people were very nice and enthusiastic.

later on, I talked an Electric show, and the crowd was moderately sized, and there was a guy in the audience that looked just like Eric. It was wierd- I kept looking at him.... I even got him on stage for *two* activities! I swear man, a dead ringer. ;)

Plus! - there was a band! the band members were *cute*('cept one guy...)! The drummer had a rockin' drum set. I could feel this feeling in my fingers...I wanted to play them drums. And there were quite a few KSU guys walkin' around- also very cute.

All in all, I'm glad I accepted to sub, even though I got to work around 9:30 am and didn't leave 'till about 11pm.
:)

birthday? no, I don't come with a birthday.

- Nov. 13, 2002 - 12:48 p.m.-

my birthday is coming up on the 17th.

really, all I want is to see the Leonids, go flying, and have a wonderful day & evening.

well....

since we're on the subject of my birthday...

I've had my eye on these super nice boots from Eddie Bauer:

http://www.eddiebauer.com/eb/product.asp?product_id=19875&nv=3|104|172&cm_cg=C172&tid=&c=&sc= size 6, black, medium width.

;)

what's that smell....?

- Nov. 07, 2002 - 1:19 p.m.-

So some wierd things have been happening lately:

As I was approaching my bus stop last night, I obsevered a large black woman getting up off the bench, gather her groceries, and head into the bus. Yes, I know it doesn't sound wierd yet. Patience.

I think nothing of it, and set my stuff on the bench. I noticed a smell of urine in the air, and a large puddle at my feet. Before I could think anymore of it, a woman comes into view and urges me to get my stuff off of the bench fast! She told me that woman was just sitting there with no pants on.

Huh. The woman told me that when she got to the bench, she saw a woman sitting there with her pants around her ankles, apparently she relieved herself on the bench, thus the large, stinky puddle. Huh! And she contiued to sit there with her naked arse on the cold bench, until her bus arrived.

How did I not notice a woman with no pants on? It was dark, and as I was approaching the stop, she must have pulled her drawers up before I ever noticed her.

Man, more motivation for me to get my damn drivers license. :{

in search of small consumables...

- Nov. 01, 2002 - 4:46 p.m.-

If I were younger, I'd be out getting tons of free candy.

At least the people I work with can be super, as we have a cauldron of candy.

Anyways; "Things that I am annoyed by":

*When people pronounce an S like a Z when not appropraite to.

*When people prudishly and obsessively arange items.

*false sincerity

*most people

*girls who speak in a valley-girl accent.

*loud & boisterous people. my patience for them is thin.

*that high pitch whine televisions produce.

*the sound of people chewing gum with thier mouth open.

*snobby people

*loud & obnoxious car dealership commercials.

*dogs

*football

*drunk people

*stupid people

*guy-sluts

*TOURISTS!!

*MTV

*most celebrities

*celebrity athletes that complain $14million a year isn't enough.

*5 minutes of commercials between 10 min. of songs on the radio.

*the Grammys

*smokers/smoking. if you smoke, you're an idiot and a big annoyance to others around you.

*people that have a codependency problem with air-conditioning. deal with a little heat. unless you're a kid, old, or sick.

*the smell of raw/cooked vegetables.

*kids' TV networks such as Disney, Cartoon Network, etc.

*when people yell/scream into hand-held radios, oblivious to the other persons ability to hear, and also being unaware that the other person can simply use the 'volume' dial to hear them better. sheesh.

yeah...life...

- Oct. 25, 2002 - 2:10 p.m.-

guess I oughta update...

next week, I have an open audition with a talent agency. I'm after voiceover work. I also have to at some point get my demo tape done for a local radio station.

my mom brought home a new puppy a few days ago. Joy. It's a female husky. Now what's wierd, our previous puppy, a Shiba Inu, got out and has not returned. And no shelter has him. Huh.

I can't wait until I move the hell out, no dogs then. I am not a dog person. My cat is absolutley terrified of any other living thing, so she's a bit stressed too.

I have also made life at work for my fellow coworkers much better. I finsihed the last survey. We have had to survey 400 people about an upcoming exhibition the museum is going to build, for the past few months.

man, those surveys were stupid and more stupid.

stupid stupid stupid.

vacation/have to get away...

- Oct. 11, 2002 - 5:02 p.m.-

Welp, I'm back from California.

Boy was it sure nice to vacate. I was in Salinas for a few days for an airshow, and Salinas sucks. On my last day, I went up to Monterey, and explored. And now I am broke! : /

Details coming soon.

Can you come babysit?

- Sept. 24, 2002 - 5:32 p.m.-

I sure had an easy day at work today. :) I always appreciate that.

And my supervisor came and told me that an impromptu Cryogenics show needed to be done for a Brownie group earlier this afternoon. Sure, no problem. I really like that show. :)

So it was to start at 3:30, and they got to the lab at 3:50. Hmm...

So I double checked with my super to make sure it was okay to extend the show, and make sure someone covered my next shift.

So there were about 20 or so of them, all a bunch of cute little girls. And they were SO excited! I had a fun fun time with them, and loved their enthusiasm. So after the show, they run up to me and hug the stuffing outta me!

It was so damn cute! They kept gshing about the show, how cool it was...

It took a while to recover order, but they walked away very excited and happy.

Stuff like this reminds me of why I do my job. :)

And the heading for my entry? A little girl came up and asked me that.

I know, everybody all together now, "Awwww...!"

machina improba!

- Sept. 22, 2002 - 6:32 p.m.-

So I was just involved in an online discussion about motion sickness. Some of whom I was chatting with find it difficult to believe that I don't get motion sickness.

And I don't. Ever. Really. I mentioned to them that I prefer to have food in my stomach before I go on roller coasters(I generally don't like being active on an empty stomach, as for most people ;) )

They're trying to convine me that a possible aerobatic flight for me(in the near future) will get me sick.

But it won't! I know it! I don't get motion sickness!

Anyways, I other news... I'm still preparing stuff for that possible radio broadcasting job.

And, 10 more days until my trip to CA! :)

Marco..... Polo!

- Sept. 18, 2002 - 10:52 p.m.-

So tonight at work we held a Bon Voyage party to the Titanic exhibition. Amongst some of the things we did, we watched James Cameron's film.

And mercillessly made fun of it!

Heh...

And, I even made a few funnies. I'm so proud(humor is not my greatest trait).

And, alot of the cheescake swirl brownies I made were eaten there. Yay!

Plus, I just ordered some luggage today.

Quite helpful for my trip to CA. :)

drip...drip...drip...

- Sept. 14, 2002 - 9:06 p.m.-

Dude work was nuts. To be expected though. This weekend marks the conclusion of the Titanic artifact exhibition here.

YES!! We're nearly free!!

Yeah, so somethign gross happened today. I went back into the lobby to assist any confused looking guests after helping clean something. So I walk up to a man and an older woman together. This guy was quite obese. And sweaty. SO DAMN SWEATY! It lookded as though someone just dumped water all over his head. Really gross. Sweat was dripping CONSTANTLY off his nose.

So I musta been there for nearly 10 min. explaining stuff to this guy. I had also handed him a small sheet with pricing info. More explaining goes on. They guy is still hopelessly confused, so I take the sheet(baad idea) and HUGE HONKIN' drop of his sweat lands on my hand. Gah!

So I hide my utter disgust and continue to help him out. Then, I immediately washed my hands. *shudder*

Plus, the audience for my Wild Weather was awful. They looked stoic and had NO sense of humor. When I asked people 'o where does weather happen? The ground, the sky, or outer space?', nobody had a freakin' clue. After what seemed like forever some little kid the says the sky. Sheesh. Plus, when I detonated the H2O2 balloon at the end, everyone immediately got up and left! Before I could even say anything to conclude my show! Aw geez, people...

Let's Roll!

- Sept. 12, 2002 - 12:48 p.m.-

Watching the news last night was tough. I couldn't NOT watch TV, pretending it wasn't important. I cried and cried. So heartbreaking. I was up until shortly after midnight.

Work has been depressing for me today. The guy I have a thing for is acting passive aqgain. I can't take this confusion. Plus, my annual review is to take place today. Joy. I'm not looking forward to it. I strongly suspect it will not be good. I amy end up just quitting this job. I do so much more than is ever even asked of me. My mailbox is FULL of projects I am doing- on my own volition. And with all I do, I get no recognition. No thanks.

I also am applying for a local radio job. Duties include live announcing. Cool.

So, screw the Science Center.

And...spekoni nochi to you all...

A bittersweet morning...

- Sept. 11, 2002 - 12:27 p.m.-

I awoke this morning to a very brisk and chilly wind. The clouds outside were many, and varying shades of gray. There was a bittersweetness in the air. Joy and saddness intertwined. Joy that I'm alive, joy that there is such a breeze. Sadness because it's Spetember 11th. Alot of people died last year.

One thing I have noticed in the media and around society, is that the Twin Towers tend to be the first thing to come to thought in refernce to that day.

Why?

What about United Airlines Flight 93/ Shanksville, PA? The Pentagon?

Just because more people died in New York, doesn't mean the other events are any less significant. Which is what I have observed. *sigh*

In October of last year, I was on a Greyhound bus to Florida. One transfer point was Washington D.C. On our way out of the city, we were on a freeway that crossed the Potomac, and I kept my eye out for the Pentagon. As we approached the river, there it was. The Pentagon. RIGHT next to the freeway. I stared out the window, my jaw agape, at that huge HOLE in that building. I can't even describe it...to see it with my own eyes. No TV between us. All I could do was say: "Oh my God..."

I can barely describe the emotion. It was almost surreal. I could just cry. It broke my heart to see that building with that charred hole. I could see the debris hanging from the exposed floor sections, and the flag that had been hung was no longer there. It is just chilling for me to think about it. Such sadness...such sadness.

Shortly after my return home, my Dad mentioned to me that I should have taken a picture of it. What?! Take a 'picture'?! It's not a tourist attraction. I have respect for what I saw. To me, taking a picture would seem demeaning. If you want to see a picture, read a newspaper or magazine.

So, please, don't forget Shanksville and the Pentagon. People died there too.

Zenyatta Mondatta...

- Sept. 06, 2002 - 5:45 p.m.-

So I bought some new music recently.

A collection of the Police's greatest hits, 'Dirty Boogie'- Brian Setzer Orchestra, and Orbital:Work 1989-2002.

Boy do I really like Orbital now! It's a techno album, and the music is very artful. :)

Really glad I got a BSO album. It's such good swing music. Quite refreshing.

Also enjoying the Police album. So many of my favorites on one CD! Yay! :)

...a flock of B1RD's from Dayton...

- Sept. 05, 2002 - 7:03 pm, EST-

So I had a fun weekend volunteering at the Cleveland National Airshow.

On Saturday, I was at the Autograph tent. I met lots of pilots. We weren't busy most of the day, but at times the place was hoppin'. Especially when the RAF Nimrod crew dropped by. Those guys are hilarious! They were great to have around. They drew ALOT of people. We must have had 10-12 of the whole crew there too. There was one crew member that caught my fancy...he is so cute! He has a boyish look, and big blue eyes, and a big grin. While he was in front of the tent, getting people to come up, he and I kept making frequent eye contact. :E) When he back to the tent, he looked dead at me, with big grin, and waved cheerily and asked me how everything was going with me! :) I later found out at the Survivor's party that he is 37! Well, he certainly doesn't show his age! ;)

The view from the tent was awesome: the afterburners of an F14. I got a picture of it. Pretty damn cool. The Golden Knights couldn't jump Sat. & Sun, their C130 had mechanical issues. But they jumped Mon. And, the Bone(B-1B Lancer) never showed(??).

So, the highlight of my evening was having a Nimord crew member invite us for a tour of the plane. The only reason this came be is because they broke down after the show on Monday. they had to ship in the part and service it here. They expected to be here 'till Weds. or Thurs. They asked for my work number, so they could contact me when they would be at the airport. Well, I'm at work Weds, and I hear a BIG jet taking off. I dash to a window, and what do I see? A big tan jet yaking off. Oh no...that better not be the big tan jet I think it is...

So, all in all, a fun weekend. And I barely got any sunburn! Woo! I was smart and put my sunscreen on an hour before being exposed to the sun. :)

God, I loved my weekend. I love airshows and flying. Watching these planes just gives me goosebumps and an ethereal, joyful feeling. This is in my heart, blood, genes and soul. I know I must do this soon. And I will. It's just a matter of time. I guess you can say it's a magnetic attraction.

I want to be up there flying...sailing the sky...

- Aug. 28, 2002 - 12:55 p.m.-

So LaserTag was last night. I was feeling pretty crummy, with my cold and all. Plus, I had body aches. Ugh. But I went for two rounds, and did poorly.

There was a HUGE gaggle of kids that went in both times with our group, and I wanted to fucking punch those kids! They would back me and others into a corner, and shoot us relentlessly. Pretty damn annoying kids.

I also surprisingly ran into a friend of mine I haven't seen for a while on the bus to work yesterday morning. So that was nice!

I also got some new pencils and a new sketch pad. Now I can finish my HUGE drawing, and keep on drawin' more. I was trying to drsw from my mind earlier today, and I just couldn't produce anything well. I don't have a photogenic memory, so as has always been, I must see what I'm drawing.

I can't wait for the airshow this weekend. There's already some performers practicing, which is awesome to watch. God, I love the sound of of radial engines...

Mean people suck...

- Aug. 27, 2002 - 12:41 p.m.-

Ungh...I have a cold. And I ache. Joy.

So I have decided to stop speaking to specific people in my life. Why? Because they're a bunch of friggin' ignorant idiots who I have lost my patience with. They are oblivious to thier ignorance, self-centeredness, and all round lowness. I cannot waste my time on them anymore. They can just bite me!

LaserTag is tonight, and someone I was expecting to go isn't. Bummer.

Vah! Denuone latinae loquebar?

- Aug. 25, 2002 - 2:27 p.m.-

So I think I learned something new in Latin. And I figured it out on my own.

The word 'Mediterranean'. It screams Latin: 'mare'(ocean) & 'terra' (land).

I think it means something like: 'ocean between land' or 'ocean on land' or something like that...

Please don't jump on my scale...

- Aug. 23, 2002 - 5:14 p.m.-

So John and I went to SixFlags on Tuesday. I had fun. We went on the Batman coaster twice, that one was cool. We hit a couple other coasters, but then John began feeling icky. I wanted so badly to try out the 'SkyCoaster', which consists of two sets of two pillars (connected at the top) and quite tall! They put you on your abdomen in a harness, raise you up to one set of pillars, then let you go! You just swing and swoop really fast over a big distance. And you're up kinda high. Awesome. I really wanted John and I to go together, but it was impossible to convince him. Then I discovered they were all booked for the day. Bummer. Plus, I actually put my sunscreen on ahead of time, and didn't get fried.

My glasses are still in a state of repair, so I'll see clearly again soon.

And, I'm partially through a nine-day-in-a-row stetch at work. Yow. But, I've got a quite a few days off for volunteering at the Cleveland National Airshow.

Sane, paululum linguae latinae dico!

- Aug. 19, 2002 - 1:33 p.m.-

So I'm currently racking my brain over translating a song by Enya called 'Tempus Vernum'. It's entirely in Latin, which is cool. But she sings a few of the words incorrectly. With Latin, the dictation is just very particular.

Anyways, some words just screamed at me the English translation. See if you can figure them out:

Ignis (this one's easy) , aqua, luna, stella (this one is proably harder because the English word derived from this is not commonly used compared other similar words that pretty much mean the same, for us today.) , solis, maritimus.

I just love Latin! The language excites me. It excites me because it's like a puzzle, to find the English in some words. God made me so I would enjoy and be perpetually entertained and fascinated by language. I just love language. It is an art form, in my opinion. Language is expression. It is a beautiful thing humans do. :)

As for the translation, I'm not gonna give up until I've got steam blowing out my ears.

- Aug. 17, 2002 - 5:32 p.m.-

Yeah so I'm silently very ticked off at two people, plus a seperate on-going situation is going to make me barf if it doesn't stop!!! *sigh*

So why am I not elaborating more?? Because I'd have to kill you if I did.

I guess I'm now gonna go get a turkey rolled pita from Alladdin's...*yummm*

All of us have tiny, tiny bit of electricity in us...to live.

- Aug. 15, 2002 - 12:50 p.m.-

That's what a little boy said to me after an Electric show today. Cute kids. And the other guests were okay too. I really dreaded doing that show, but I got up there and made it fun. It made it bearable to me. I need to keep trying like that at work.

So I bought a plane ticket to go see an airshow in Oct. I'm rather excited about that. I'm a little anxious about flying, but I'm not unreasonablt terrified. I know and understand the risks, and am familiar with flying first hand, so...

As for my two huge sketches, I've decided not to color them. I feel color would ruin them. My whole life I've always been a pencil artist. I just do better with pencil, even though I LOVE color. Odd.

'Tis it for now, I'm tired and- Zzzzz...

Choad Warrior!

- Aug. 11, 2002 - 1:55 a.m.-

So I went to Alladin's tonight for dinner with Phil, Erica & Toby. Mmm...turkey rolled pita.

We then headed back, and laughed at Book-a-Minute reviews and invited Steeve over. He brought Star Wars trivial pursuit which I bombed at. But we then played Chez Geek and I whooped ass at a round.

No nut-job supervisors at work today, which was nice. Plus, I let a guy follow me almost the whole walk to work while I shared my knowledge of what to do/see in Cleveland. He was from California. And he was most grateful of my help. I'm so nice.

So that was my day.

The very first space shuttle flight:

- Aug. 09, 2002 - 10:13 p.m.-

Shuttle COLUMBUS in orbit above Spain:

COLUMBIA: "Saragosso Tower, this is COLUMBUS. How do you read me?"

SARAGOSSO TWR: "Read you five by five. What's your callsign?"

COLUMBIA: "COLUMBUS."

SARAGOSSO TWR: ??? "What's your altitude?"

COLUMBIA: "One Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero"

I found that on a webiste. Funny. I have no idea what 5 by 5 means, but it sounds impressive.

Hope the neighbors don't think the music is too loud...

- Aug. 08, 2002 - 10:21 p.m.-

There's one thing about apartment sitting for Phil I don't like.

The building doesn't recycle. *gasp!* I know, the hell you say!

I just cringe every time I throw away something recycleable. To not recycle is archaic. Really.

Oh! The LaserTag outing is later this month, with a bunch of work people. I can't wait.

Think you know me??

- Aug. 07, 2002 - 10:18 p.m.-

I am so angry right now.

At people. I don't want to look at, talk to, or deal with people. Anymore.

I'm tired of people treating like I'm stupid. As if they are above me.

I am often the person least spoken to in a group conversation. Some people whom I call friends don't treat me like a friend and are stupidly oblivious to it. So my tolerance of that is gone.

I am a complicated person. I am not easy to get to know. People think they have a strong sense of my personality, but there are many facets and chasms to my personality. I admit my 'flaws': I don't have a quick wit, which people remind me of by treating me as though I am stupid. A lack of quick wit does not make one stupid.

People just don't know me. They don't know what goes on in my head. I am very mature person who is very clear and headstrong on many issues. I don't 'go with the flow', follow trends, or try to fit in. I go my own way. I don't go by way of what's popular. I don't give into peer pressure. I don't drink, even thought I'm 21. And anyone out there that thinks that is lame can just fucking bite me. I have confidence in my ability to have fun with out alcohol. I have gotten slack from people about not drinking, but I blow it off. It's tempting, but I am have strentgh within. I stick to my heart. And if you think I'm a square or a prude for it, well, screw you.

There are people out there that doubt my sincerity about acheiving certain goals, such as being an aerobatic pilot, getting a doctorate in Aeronautical/Astronautical engineering. People just don't know. Well, I am a very persisent, stubborn, pushy, argumentative person. I go after what I want like a bitch on wheels. I have drive. I HATE it it when people silently doubt me. But it does give me fuel. There are many people out there that will be proven wrong about me.

I am much further on the road of life that most people around me, and I look from the inside out, wondering when will people realize what I have about life? Maybe that's one reason I never feel like I fit in. I can't relate to anyone.

yeah, so I don't match. Shut up!

- Aug. 04, 2002 - 10:14 a.m.-

Yesterday I was wearing a white baby-doll top, and a black skirt with big pink flowers. Yeah well, I was staying the night at Phil's and forgot my pants at home. D'oh.

Went out last night with Phil, Toby and Erica. Played trivia at BW3's. I won a one-question round. Quite to my surprise. I'm temporoarily without glasses, so I had a difficuly time reading the screen. So, I punched in my answer, and calmly expected to be a big fat loser again. But no! I won! Everybody was suprised. It was awesome.

Then, we played Chez Dork at Erica's. I finally won a round. Woo. I was also subjected to having to view a TV show that was...well...yeah.

Bla bla bla...

- Aug. 01, 2002 - 12:44 p.m.-

So work has especially sucked lately. But I did have a long-awaited meeting to help alleviate some frustrations. Woo.

I've been looking into Renter's Insurance and a place to get my 3rd class medical, so I can get flying soon. Plus, that Alaskan cruise I was looking into is WAY too expensive, so I think I'm gonna stick to a Caribbean cruise.

Now, don't get the impression that I'm wealthy and all...I'm seriously splurging with this. But I must continue with hypnotizi- er, convincing Eric to come along...

pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease! *whine*

*news flash!*

- Jul. 18, 2002 - 1:47 p.m.-

Well, I lost my wallet 2 days ago.

D'oh. Left it on a bus.

I almost cried at the bus station! I was also very worried...my State ID was in there, along with my house key.

I called my mom and told her to change the locks on the house, which she did, had my bank block the use of my ATM/Debit card, and asked the local police to drive by the house and make sure everything was okay.

So, after I retuned home last night, my mom presented me my wallet, quite to my suprise. The guy that found it was kind enough to return it. And he only used $3. Ah well, I guess that's his reward money.

At least I've got it back!

In other news, we recently had a big picnic with a bunch of people from work. There was sand castle building(which I spent alot of time helping with) and Erica brought a potato launcher which awesome. I also sparred with Peter's bother using pactical broadswords. He whacked me right across the side of my face, and when I got hit, I saw a speck of light in the corner of my eye. I really saw stars, eh..! The area where I got hit swelled up a little, and now it's nearly gone, but remaining is a bit of tenderness, and a red line. :{ And, I've got a tender bruise on my thigh.

So, that's my news...for now.

Hi Eric!

- Jul. 10, 2002 - 8:51 p.m.-

..He said he wanted my page address, so I'm assuming he's going to be looking here...

So, my 4th was fairly tame. Went with Phil and Gina down to the Lakefront to watch the firecrackers.

Plus, I went dancing a few nights ago at a club in the Flats with Erica, John and Jeff.

It was fun. Lots of guys checked me out, according to Erica. So, go me.

I had to physically drag John out on the dance floor twice, the putz. ;P

I'm also bummed over something, er someone...but I've been listening alot to Norah Jones, it's helped...

OH MY GOD!

- Jul. 03, 2002 - 12:50 p.m.-

why do weird people stare at me on the bus??

can soemone PLEASE tell me!!

Aw man...

- Jul. 02, 2002 - 9:35 a.m.-

Well, I didn't win the scholaship I wrote an essay for.

Bummer.

an poc ar buile!

- Jun. 26, 2002 - 2:21 p.m.-

So tonight I'm going to see Gaelic Storm in concert with John. Yay!

I can't wait to see them live! I should also try to meet up with them and have them autograph something...

HAHAHAHA!

- Jun. 20, 2002 - 1:35 p.m.-

I love it! I found the perfect saying to describe work:

"If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport!"

Ha!

Yeah, and...y'know....

- Jun. 08, 2002 - 2:52 p.m.-

I haven't updated here in a while...

And I really don't have anything interesting to say right now.

Just thought I'd let ya all know...

Thank you very much.

Did I get enough sleep?

- May. 29, 2002 - 9:37 a.m.-

Guess what I spotted walking to my bus Sunday morning?!

A giant bird!

That day, I was catching a bus on Clifton, so I passed through the more residential ares on my way. Plenty of places for a large walking bird to hide.

This thing was about 4 feet high! Seriously! It was like a mini-hreon or crane.

I'm just walking...."hey! what the hell? Uh...." The thing was crossing the street and contnuing to walk into a yard. I was glancing at the faces of people in cars passing by, to make sure it wasn't just me hallucinating.

It was like seeing a U